I pray that you have a dream, a vision for your life that burns inside of you, motivating your decisions, determining what you say “yes,” or “no” to. I also pray that you would be able to loosen the death grip you might have on it.
About a year ago I came to the beginnings of the end of struggling over my dreams. I didn’t even realize how much I was fighting. I thought I was fighting for my dreams. Turns out I was just fighting for control. Can you relate?
Sure, we must have an “all-in” attitude when it comes to our dreams. It defines our decisions, and choices. It sets boundaries to determine what this life that God has given me will look like. Yet to also be able to hold that loosely means that we understand the difference between the dream, and the gifts we have been entrusted with to reach that dream, and who we are. Your value is not determined by what you do for God. Your value is set. The highest price was paid. You were created and chosen for Love.
What I learned about my struggle from a spoonful of almond butter.
The other day I had a jar of nut butter out. I scooped some out on a spoon for Jordan, then
got my own spoon and sat down with her at the table. We ‘went to town’ on that delicious almond puree. When Jordan’s spoonful was gone she asked me for more, since I had the jar.
“Sure, hand me your spoon.”
She started to whine and cry, “No, want mooooooore buuuuuuuuuuuuter. Give me buteeeeeeer.”
I repeated my request.
She repeated hers.
This exchanged happened a few more times until she reluctantly handed over her spoon. I filled her spoon with the nut butter, and handed the full spoon back to her. I wanted to give her more, I just needed the spoon. I knew she wouldn’t be able to get a really good scoop by herself, and might even drop the jar, and end up not getting any.
This is what I mean when I say I struggled over my dreams. I would pray for more in an area, then God would ask me to give me an area of my life and I would say, “Noooooooo! My dreaaaaaaam!” If I gave God that thing, then what would I use to carry the dream around in? How would I be able to accomplish all that burned in my heart? What would I be without that?
There began a point about a year ago when I just said, “I trust you.” At this moment I was able to turn it all over to him. I trust you with my life. I trust you with my family. I trust you with my dreams. I trust that my value is in you, not in any gift, title, position, or recognition. Then a funny thing happened. I began to be filled with more. God just needed me to hand over the spoon, the tool that I was holding, so that he could put more in it. I had been asking for the jar. The jar wasn’t mine to ask for, but God was more than willing to give me all that I needed from the jar.
The silly interaction between me and my toddler that day helped this truth take root in my heart.
I was grasping that dream with all my strength, while begging God to fill it, fulfill it. God wasn’t withholding or trying to take it away from me – he was saying, “Sure, hand it over and I’ll fill it. I’ll expand it. I’ll give you even more than you even knew to ask for.”
I still work hard. I still pursue the dream. I pursue it now because I value the giver, not because I need the value that the gift would give me.
The biggest lesson was to learn that the gifts are tools, the dream is God’s. This is not my own to hold onto in the first place. This is given to me to love, to serve, to release. I go to God to fill me for the sake of others. I release them to God so he can fill, and expand, and increase, so that more people may know His Love, and experience His Glory.
So, dear friends, let’s stop being toddler Christians. Trust God. Hand over the spoon. Maybe he’ll give you a better tool, or a different tool. He might fill it with something other than what you were asking for, or something better than you thought was possible. Can you be okay with that? Trust God. He is not withholding – he is generous and giving. He is not punishing – he is waiting for your partnership and cooperation. He is not impatient – he is faithful, and will wait for as long as it takes for you to hand over that spoon. And He won’t even eat all the nut butter if it takes you too long to hand over the spoon. 😉
 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6
Is there an area you are having a hard time trusting God, and handing over the spoon?